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I Strayed Away From My Faith

When I was a little girl, I remember my grandfather who I called my "Papi Ramon," teach me about God and La Virgensita de Guadalupe (Our Lady of Guadalupe). You see I was raised Catholic and my grandfather was a firm believer. He used to tell me to believe in her and that she was everyone's mother. He taught me that if I prayed to her, she would hear me out and that I was never alone because I had her, God, and my guardian angels that would protect me.

My Papi Ramon would take care of me when my parents and my grandma (Mami Chole) would go to work late at night. He would tuck me in and teach me prayers. The first prayers that I learned were because he taught me. And I loved it and believed in it.

As time passed, like many others I began to lose touch with my faith. I would go to church from time to time and did not feel connected. I cannot explain to you why I felt this way but not having faith sent me on a downward spiral in life. It lead me to become more negative and that in itself was unhealthy for me.

This along with life situations that happen in life would have me going up and down with my feelings about my faith. At some point I claimed that I was no longer a believer at all. It didn't feel right to claim this. It felt like I was lost. With the birth of my daughters, I slowly began to return to my faith. I started to see that God and La Virgensita does create miracles. My mom reminded me why and how I was blessed with my girls. Their birth was a tough one. My mom reminded me that prayers to La Virgensita saved my girls and that God always has a plan for each and every one of us. This was an absolute turning point for me.

It is customary to set flowers out and light candles up for her at church. I haven't done so in years. I plan to do it soon and take my daughters to thank her and God for them. Not everyone believes in God or saints and not everyone has the same religion, and that is okay. But this is mine and what I believe and I appreciate my Papi Ramon for teaching me and being my first memory of faith and God. I never got to thank him for that part. You see, my Papi Ramon passed away and I got to thank him for everything else he did for me but not for teaching me our faith. I appreciate him for being one of the main people in my life to teach me about her and God. We created so many beautiful memories while doing so.

Is there a time where you have felt like you strayed or were lost a little bit? Did you come back? Tell me your story in the comment section below. I would love to hear it.

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